In the City

I am in the city.  An eight hour drive or an hour flight south of home.  Home...where my girls are enjoying the first real summer-like weekend with their dad.  And Jon is keeping me posted of their daily activities.  Texts and photos of my girls eating their Rice Krispies, of Callie's first soccer game of the season, their visit to the park, their pancake supper on the BBQ...


The grass is green and the leaves have burst on the tree branches in the city.

 Up until this point I've been filling up every moment of my time in the city.  Keeping myself occupied as I don't know what to do with my hands when there is no stroller to push, hands to hold, and little mouths to feed.  And the best filler of time when in the city is... shopping.  Shopping with great friends who are also on hiatus from their families.  Three women carrying armloads of clothing into change rooms, modeling, laughing, vetoing and sending the overeager sales clerk back for different sizes, colors, and "I want the ones she has!"  We are on a mission...for we are shopping without our children.

I took my shoes off so my toes could feel the earth.

Being here in the city, on my own, shopping with friends and dining at restaurants that have low lighting, music pumping and short-skirt-wearing-waitresses brings flashbacks to the days before mommyhood.  And this feeling is exhilarating for the moment but it fades quickly.  And I know it is good and healthy to have time to yourself.

But I miss my family.

I enjoyed tagging along with my friend as she visited with her daughter.  I eavesdropped in on their conversations as they caught up on each others lives.  And I admired their closeness and their respect for each other.  Her daughter, a young woman herself, wanting to spend every free moment with her mom while she is in the city.  And of course I can't help but imagine what my own girls will be like when they are grown and no longer need me to mother them but to support them in pursuing their dreams.

Tomorrow, the actual reason I'm in the city, I will be attending a conference for work.  And I will be surrounded by great people who do great things.  I will learn and be inspired to do better. 

And after that...

...home to kiss my babies good night.