Thursday, November 15, 2012

When Time Stands Still

Let's turn back the clock, not just an hour this time, but for an entire week.  Last Thursday we celebrated the  birthday of the best mama in the world.  My mom.  Sometimes there are streamers and balloons and lots of people and other times its just us with take-out pizza and a store bought cake...because that's just the way we roll. 

I want to write about the time we had last weekend on a little mini vay-cay to the city to visit with our friends.  I could tell about the crazy confusion of how our city weekend came to be or the snowstorm that we drove through to get there but I'm just not feeling like finding all the joy in the little details today.

Because when we got back from our weekend in the city, time stood still.  As I sat next to my good friend Monday afternoon during a conference for work, the RCMP discretely pulled her out of the room.  When I went out into the hall to see what was happening, Christine turned to me and said, "I gotta go.  It's my dad."  And the clock stopped.  The pit of my stomach began to feel empty and my brain was trying to trick me by not letting me think of worst case scenarios.

The events of the remainder of that day make my heart ache and my tears flow.  Because after the work of being supportive and being as helpful to my friend as I could...when the work is done you begin to feel again.    And it's so much easier to bake a loaf or take care of the kids or do busy work than it is to let your emotions come back.  To start thinking about her loss and the void that has been created in her family is such a vulnerable feeling.  Because our lives have been intertwined in so many ways for most of our lives, the loss of her dad reaches far into my life as well.

When time starts to move again I will be back to writing about girls who make silly faces and I will tell about "medeso medaso" and all the other little things that have been floating around our house.  But until then...

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

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